Kiss It Better
by MeganxDegrassi
Summary: All Eli wanted to do was to spend his life with Clare, no interruptions, no complications, but you don't always get what you want.


**Welcome! This is an EClare oneshot, based on the song "Kiss It Better" It was really cool to write and I really enjoyed writing it. I hope you enjoy reading it :D. This is set a few years into the future from what's going on with Degrassi currently, but you'll figure that out as you read. I had my mom proofread so, please ignore any errors… **

**Present Day.**

I sat there on the cold, hard bed, surrounded by three grey stone walls and stainless steel bars acting as the fourth wall. I didn't want to be in here, I would rather be dead; at least if I was dead, I would still be with _her. _The girl I loved whose life was cut years too short on that fateful day, the day that my life may as well have ended. It was the day that led me here; in a prison cell just for me.

I lay back on the bed that only seemed to get more and more uncomfortable as the days passed on. A bed that was lonely without her. I folded my hands together, resting them on my stomach, closing my eyes to attempt sleep that never seemed to come. Closing my eyes only really led me to that day, tearing my soul apart. I hoped that maybe if I kept letting it tear me to pieces, maybe death would come sooner rather than later.

**Approximately 6 months earlier, 186 days exactly, 6:02 PM. **

She had called me—things had gone amiss, she needed me now— and I sped down the highway to_ his_ house. I didn't care for traffic, driving recklessly and speeding through red lights when it was possible. Her panicked voice was echoing through my ears.

"Eli, hurry, please."

I needed to get there now, I didn't know what kind of danger she was in, but even a mild danger causing her harm could shred me to pieces at that point in time. I would get to her; I would never let her down when she needed me, it wasn't an option.

I stopped silently in front of Mark Fitzgerald's house, getting out and running to his doorstep. I didn't plan on knocking but it didn't matter, when I reached the door was when the gun sounded. My heart dropped and I swung the door open with more force and strength than I ever thought I possessed.

I ran through the house blindly, not familiar with the interior or even where they would be. I made my way to the living room of the house that just seemed to be filled with darkness. Just as I reached the room, is when the gun hit the floor, still smoking from the blow. The tall, darkly-dressed person who had been holding it sprinted out of the room immediately. _A person who I knew for a fact was Fitz himself. _

I moved my eyes from the gun and saw her pale white legs, she was laying on the floor, wheezing in pain, the upper half of her body was hidden from be by the large white loveseat. It didn't matter, I saw the blood, I heard her cries of pain, I didn't have to look to know what was being hidden from my vision. My heart broke and my gut twisted, my whole world crashing around me. I wasted no time. I pulled off my shirt and ran to her, prepared to add pressure to stop the bleeding.

I got to her and kneeled down, taking her into my arms and staying strong as she continued wheezing in pain, her life quickly draining from her body. I felt like I was being deceived, taking in the fact that the blood was spewing out of her chest right where her heart was. This couldn't be happening; it had to be a joke. I didn't have time to think this wasn't real. I needed to save her, before it was too late. I started applying pressure to the wound, repeating to myself that this would help her. That _it had to. _

"Clare, I'm so sorry, this is all my fault, but you're going to be okay, you hear me," I told her lovingly, my heart pounding with fear for the girl I loved, but trying to stay as calm as humanly possible.

"It's not your fault, love, you didn't know," Clare croaked, the blood that had been pooling in her mouth beginning to dribble out as she coughed forcefully, wrenching in pain every time she coughed.

Still applying pressure to the wound, I held her close, trying to stop all the pain, to somehow transfer it all to me. This shouldn't have been happening to her; it wasn't right. Through the process of holding her close, I managed to call 911 and tell them how serious the situation was and where I was, telling them that they should come fast.

Clare was right, I hadn't known.

But, I should have.

**Present Day**

I opened my eyes, unfolding my hands and getting up off the bed. I walked to the farthest wall from my prison bed and rested my head against it, clenching my fists and slamming them on the hard, stone wall.

_I should have known! _It was Fitz, my high school enemy; Evil in the form of a human being. Why had "finding God," possessed me to believe that he had somehow change, that he wouldn't do anything to hurt Clare, that he wouldn't do everything in his power to have her, that if he couldn't have her, he wouldn't let anyone else have her either?

**186 days earlier, 3:04 pm**

I'll be back in two, three hours tops, we're just going to go have coffee and discuss our Sunday church plans," Clare had told me, putting her earrings on and looking at herself in our bedroom mirror.

I sat on the bed, watching her carefully. She looked radiant. "But you look so nice, what if he gets the wrong impression?" I asked her, standing up and walking to stand behind her so I could see us both in the mirror.

"That's when I should him this, Eli," she said, flashing her brand new diamond ring that sat perfectly on her left hand ring finger; her engagement ring, "And, politely let him know that I'll only love you for the rest of my life."

She flashed me a beautiful smile in the mirror and turned around so I could look into her brighter-than-the-sky, blue eyes. She really was my own personal angel, having guided me through all the hard times in my life. I trusted her. I knew nothing would go on between her and Fitz. They had been attending the same church for a couple months now and all the stories I heard of his googly eyes at her had proved that his passion was one-sided. They made me even surer of the fact that she was mine forever, and that I'd always be hers.

I pulled her into a sweet kiss, showing her that I understood what she had to do and that I was okay with it. I pulled away, resting my forehead on hers and peering into her always-happy eyes. "Okay," I told her gently, running my fingers lightly through her short locks, "I'll just work on my novel while you're gone. So, I'll be here when you get back, and if you need anything."

I smiled at her and she smiled back, "That's a great idea," she kissed me again quickly, stepping back from out embrace, "I love you."

"I love you, too," I told her, watching her as she walked out of the room.

**Present Day**

I had trusted her with him, but I should've never trusted _him_ with _her_. I had been so stupid to let her walk out of our bedroom that day. When I had let her do that, I had let her walk painfully out of my life without even realizing it.

I hit my head off the prison wall as my heart and stomach twisted in pain. I felt like I was going to be sick, but I knew that that I wouldn't throw up. There was nothing inside me to throw up; I had secretly stopped eating days ago—not that I had been eating much before that.

**186 days earlier, 6:03 PM. **

Her hands clutched onto me and I felt them growing cold as her life slowly slipped out from under me. I was doing everything I could to save her. It wasn't enough but I had myself convinced I could save her, I could lose her, I just couldn't bear that.

_Where was that ambulance? _It felt like it had been hours since I called.

There were tears sliding down both of our faces as we embraced and stared into each other's eyes. Through her coughing and wheezing, she still managed to speak, but just barely, probably half delusional as her mind became filled with dark, coldness, "Eli, kiss it better. I'm not ready to go…"

I didn't think my heart could break anymore at that point. I wasn't ready for her to go, either. I pressed my lips to hers, they were cold and covered in blood but she managed to kiss me back. There was a spark, but so much sadness, passion and hurt welling up into the kiss, I didn't even care that I was basically drinking her blood. I was kissing her, I was keeping her here. I was keeping the pain away.

We were blindly sharing our last kiss.

All of a sudden, the spark went out, her grip around me loosened and she pulled away, whispering so quiet I almost couldn't hear it, "I love you, stay with me until I fall asleep."

I nodded and laid her down onto my lap, wiping her hair out of her face, "I love you, too," I told her honestly, "Everything will be alright," I lied wishfully, averting my gaze as her eyes began to slowly close, ,unable to watch the love of my life slip away from me. As I averted my eyes, they met the gun sitting not too far away from Clare's feet.

Clare's head drooped on my lap and something immediately washed over me, "I'll avenge you," I said to her lifeless body, numbly getting up and lightly setting her on the floor so I could take the gun. "Mark Fitzgerald, your time is up," I took off, sprinting in the direction he had fled from the room so I could find him. I was shirtless and covered in Clare's blood from head to toe, but I didn't care. He needed to be killed painfully for what he had done. He needed to be killed now.

**Present Day**

I smiled deviously to myself, stepping away from the wall just to turn around and lean up against it, closing my eyes. I pictured the way Fitz fell to the ground in pain when I found him near the woods in the park. I shot three bullets in his back from afar, and approached him laughing maniacally as I shot him once more in the skull, to make sure he had no way to recover.

I had next planned to shoo t myself so I could be with Clare, but when I put the gun to my head and pulled the trigger, nothing happened.

No more bullets, I had dropped to my knees, quickly being surrounded by people who had just notified the authorities about me and the crime I had just committed.

I balled my fists and slammed them against the prison cell wall. I wished there had been just _one _more bullet, one to take me out of the misery and pain I was feeling. The same misery and pain I would feel until I died.

If only I could have brought her back, then Fitz would be in this cell, and I would be curled up on the couch with Clare, watching a movie. I wouldn't have to suffer twenty-five to life without her in my arms.

**5 months earlier: The trial. **

I sat at the stand, being accused by Mark Fitzgerald's parent's lawyer, "You're bi-polar, your moods got the best of you. You found out that the two were having an affair and you killed them both in a jealous rage, _didn't you! _You shot her first and when he ran to go get someone, you didn't let him get very far, did you? No!"

"Objection," My lawyer called out, standing up defensively.

"Overruled," the judge said, "Let's see what Eli has to say about this."

I sat there, stone cold. They thought I killed Clare, too, not just Fitz. I was outraged, but still angry and numb at the fact that Clare would never be with me again, I didn't have the motivation to act out and scream the truth to the room full of people.

"I didn't kill Clare," I told the courtroom simply, "I avenged her. Fitz deserved to die. He killed her. And you should all know that he had a violent streak. Back in high school, he almost stabbed me, trying to get Clare. But, I'm sure you have that on record." I sat there, straight faced, nothing being able to penetrate the numb, emotionless shell of a human that I had become.

"Tell me, Mr. Goldsworthy, _if_ what you say is true, why didn't you decide to call the cops on Mark, why did you have to kill him, too?" The lawyer asked me seriously, still obviously not believing my story.

"Because, prison would be too good to him, he deserved to die," I told them coldly.

"Do you think you deserve to die, Mr. Goldsworthy?"

"Objection," My lawyer called out.

"No, that's okay, I'll answer," I told him, shrugging and looking around at all the people in the room, my eyes landing on my parents, who were sitting next to Clare's family. All of them in that section believed me, they knew how I felt about Clare, but it didn't matter who believed anymore. I looked away from their sad faces and back at the Fitzgerald's lawyer, who was waiting for me to respond silently, "I don't deserve to die, but I want to."

I heard a gasp from the section where my family was sitting, knowing my parent's hearts were breaking at the statement. But, I swore to say the truth and nothing but the truth, and that was the full truth.

**Present Day**

I sat back down on my uncomfortable prison bed and reached under the pillow. I pulled out the only thing I was allowed to keep with me: a picture. It was the only thing I wanted to keep with me.

I looked at the picture, a sad smile reaching my lips as I replayed the memory in my head. The picture was of Clare and I at the park, right after I proposed to her. I had my arms wrapped around her from behind and I was spinning her around happily as we both laughed.

A photographer had snapped the picture, saying the moment was too picture-perfect to resist. I thanked him and paid him, giving him our address to send the developed picture to. It came in the mail a week later, and we framed it and put it on the wall in our living room for everyone to see.

I had my parents bring it to me one time when they visited. It wasn't in the frame anymore, it was just the picture.

We had been so happy, but now my world was torn apart, and it was all just a memory. I'd never touch her again, or peer into her beautiful eyes, never hear her laugh or yell at me ever again. I'd never taste her lips on mine again.

It was only a memory.

I stared at the picture then pressed it face down to my chest, closing my eyes. Her 'I love you,' right before she left our bedroom on that say replayed in my mind.

_I love you, too. _I thought to myself, all of a sudden feeling more tired than I had in months, _Now, stay with me until I fall asleep. _

And finally, I slipped into a deep slumber.

Then I slipped away completely.

**So, that's it. I'd advise you to check out the song, "Kiss It Better" by He Is We. Although it's sad, it's a really great song 3. Check it out, and check out my other stories, maybe? Maybe follow me on twitter? (MeganxMusic) (: AND LASTLY, PLEASE REVIEW, BECAUSE I'D ENJOY KNOWING HOW YOU FELT ABOUT THIS. It was my first Eclare story, so :O. Okie Dokie, later gaters (x.**


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